Times of Solitude

I'm starting to feel like a hermit - the temptation to go out on weekends is on an all time low, the urge to party/mingle seems pointless, the idea of 'dressing up' and attending dinner invitations seems like too much effort - I'm just not doing things an average twenty something yr old would do. I can actually feel myself getting more and more boring. I even soil plans I make for the weekend...*sigh* (its not laziness...its the mentality of 'nah, I dnt want to go' - what's that called?)

I'm thinking of getting another job (on top of the current one) just to force myself to GO OUT! and besides, some extra cash in the pockets would be great, I am a cheap uni student after-all.

My circle of young professional friends, some of whom I have hung with since the early years of high school, believe I have changed - since they're all vain individuals (marketing, modelling, photography, musicians, PR reps etc etc, we even have a 'professional' 'extra' on crew), they have only noticed the 'external' changes "You're not fly anymore man!"- yes, I use to be a Super Fly Brutha back in my time...my theme song was "I believe in miracles" - by Hot Chocolate.

They introduced me into a life of "Glitz and Glamour" - its their usual lifestyle, sharing is caring. I tagged along to some invites, and others I was sent by work to represent 'the suits'; It was hard not to bump into the 'crew' during those shin-digs anyway, (the glitz and glam circle is filled with the usual people - sorta like clubs..u see the same faces all the time). I saw what was the glories of the glamour, and the fakeness of the glitz. The people were young, rich and charismatic, some were even caring - in their fake way...At its glory, it was enjoyable (Import Car Modelling shenadigans, product launches, vodka tasting parties etc etc), at its worse....backstabbings, two faced people, under the table business deals and the like - Hollywood suddenly doesn't sound all that great does it. It was a learning experience, not exactly the best way to see the world at such a young age, plus it was a very tiring (and costly) way of education. But it was an active lifestyle, I could juggle it with Uni life and the other channels of life.

But, 2 Years on, I have turned into a secluded hermit, has my passion for the glitz and the glamour died out? The 'pimps and sluts' (a collective term for those young professionals) believe I have 'changed for the worse' - even I believe I have changed for the worse. I started to focus on a more slow, safe, and far less thrilling/attractive way of life - a world of uni, just a few hours of work, reading a good book, a drink or two with mates, staying single and carefree and also catching a movie with friends. It has been so carefree, maybe it has sucked the passion right out of me, destroyed what was once known as 'fun' (actually I've been frowning alot more than usual...signs of fustration?), it is eating away the youth and vigor of a twenty something year old man. It reminds me about the aftermath of marriage....haha commitment-phobe? (aren't we all). What is one to do?...how can I get the passion back?...*sigh*

The Tale of Two Curries

An encounter today, catalysted me into a horrifying connundrum of other thoughts, all of which shared the common theme.....Curry Indians! (Although I am to some degree racist - I can admit it..who isn't a bit racist?....this is however not a racist entry). Do not read, if you are easily offended.

I was sitting on the train today, and a pram made its way through the doors. Whenever a baby pram is nearby, I can't help but to have an oogle at them - I like babies, call me weak but they can be somewhat adorable! (especially from a reasonable distance and when they're not crying). The Indian mother turned the pram around, and what bestowed upon me were two not very good looking babies (I originally had it as two of the ugliest babies I had ever seen!, but that's a misjustice in itself, you can't blame the kid for being ugly...you should blame the parents for giving birth to something so horrid); they were not hideously deformed - but they were something FAR from what u'd call cute! They just lacked baby cuteness, they..for lack of a better descriptive phrase were sinfully ugly...(I kid I kid), but they did look like little baby monkeys.

Such a sight made me want to turn away, and thus I stared out the window....but what followed was a ghastly walk down memory lane...

....the first flashback that came to me, was something that happened on the train at Town Hall Station. Two curry guys casually occupied the seat infront of me. But then Curry number 1, who was equipped with a fancifully laced leather jacket and a moustache, placed his arm around Curry number 2...and ever so gently kissed him on the cheek....and slowly...yet ever so seductively....started moving to his ear....GOD DAMN. I had front row seats to that public homo show!!....and it has scarred me ever so much. I was already spewing, but if either of them said something gay like "Are you thinking, what I'm thinking Curry 2?"...."I think I am Curry 1 *wink*"...I might have to 'lark' them with buddha beads, in full Jet Li style.

As that memory gave me a shudder (the lil hairs on my arm are still standing up)...it somehow looped into the next memory. A documentary on SBS, that I saw in Melbourne, talking about the gay population in India, Bombay.....cleverly coined as "BomGay". I think it was about Gay Indian porn, where some guy was 'shafted'by many a men in the library....pretty funny at the time, but once you think back on it, its some seriously sick shit.

...The idea of gay Indians getting shafted though....promptly reminded me of what happened last week at the gym - No, I didn't get shafted by gay Indians. But, as I was giving the weight machines a go, I noticed a curry guy following me...everytime I moved to a new machine, he'd follow suit..and use the one directly opposite. The first two times, I thought 'yeah, its just a coincidence', the third time I started to get suss...the fouth time all hell broke lose when I looked up...the fag was standing in front of me, wearing nothing but a BIG sleazy grin (he had pants on, he had pants on). He even followed me into the change rooms, I swear he deliberately 'strutted' his stuff, when he walked past me - I piss bolted out of there soon aftwards...in fear my virgin ass(hole) would be defiled.

...The word 'defiled' further conjured up a memory of an Indian girl I dated in High School, and whom I bumped into again at the end of last year. She was and still is, a very hot chick, and has an absolute body to die for! (I know we rewrote the karma sutra, but that's another story for another day). Unfortunately, she's gone off with some fat white geek of a man...so that's a pity. (can I hear you say Ho fo sho!)

...Following that memory, Fat white geeks and 'Asian' girls jump started a dream I had, which involved my current girlfriend. It was oddly about my girlfriend introducing me to her new male 'Indian friend'...soon after our 'goodbyes', they sorta walked off - with the curry close by her side, you know one of those 'close walks', the walks which you have with a potential significant other? I woke up with a sweat drenched face and a hatred in my heart...I shake my fist at thee! I think the dream happened because of her innocent comment "What's wrong with Curries?" (Did she realise what she just said!).

....Surprisingly, 'signifcant other'...finalised my lil walk down memory lane. There was this one time at (band camp) Lidcombe Station...I was standing on platform 3...minding my own business when I noticed a curry man...around his 50's or so...violently jerking on something. Out of shear curiosity, I took a quick glance, and my eyes would never be pure again, that insane man had his 'significant other' fully exposed to the world, in full salute!. I tried to see what he was perving on, but it was just an empty space. He must've just suddenly felt the urge to pull one off right there and then - such a kodak moment!! The man was def Hurtin' for a Squirtin'. However, adding to the disturbing nature of it all....the song 'Freak Me' by SILK...suddenly came into mind, it fitted his 'love' for his lil twanger to a tear. Especially the lines "Let me lick you up and down Til you say stop" and "I love the taste of whipcream...Spread it on don't be mean" OH MOTHERFUCKA!

Notice: Sad News, As I was intensely occupied within this connundrum of horrid memories, I managed to drop my pepsi in the middle of the Food Court, causing spillage right in front of Pretzel World. Like a bastard, I casually walked away....but it is still a sad sad moment...*sigh*

Hung like a Horse..well, a Donkey

I have received word about a certain show in Tijuana, Mexico...a little Donkey Show which has won the hearts of Mexico, enchanted the curiosity of the Americans, and word has now travelled through the winds to our Oceania Shores. I think that show has the stuff to go international! How can a mere donkey show intrigue the interest of all MANKIND?....well, I must applaud the mexicans and their creativity. It is not a petting zoo, nor a carnival donkey ride....in this little show...a Donkey marches onto stage, and casually gives a woman the pummelling of a lifetime!!

A show, which involves a donkey 'power driving' a woman - I love the sound of it already! Now THATS entertainment! All that action, for a $5 admission fee, anyone wanna go to Mexico for a spin? Sure, in my weaker moments, I will feel slack for the chick...but I do admire her bravery...it would be a VERY tight squeeze, but if thats her 'thing' then go for it! Don't do it for the pain, do it for the money girl !! I can see something like this happening......