Once upon a time....

Once upon a time, I was a presentable young man. But when uni started and the assignments and exams started piling up....I didn't shave, grew fat..and my hair grew long + oily *shakes head*. My neat, stylish clothes grew ratty. I didn't have to look nice on Saturday nite, because Saturday nite dates were with my many books.

A sympathetic female friend of mine, visited me a few nites later, and when I opened the door in my t-shirt and shorts...she shrieked 'What's WRONG with you!!, are u sick??', and quickly pushed me in..and layed me down. Soon after her arrival, we started to channel-surf, and we landed onto an episode of 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy', where these guys makeover a staight guy and dress him with cool clothes, a trendy haircut and other extra stuff aswell. I was baffled and horrified...she was mesmerised 'What a great haircut', 'he's so cute now' she exclaimed !!.

I asked Mark, my most stylish straight friend about this unusual 'phenomenon'. He told me of a whole world I was missing out on...or have just forgotten about.. where straight guys who don't settle for two-minute showers and $10 hair cuts..men who style their hair, shop for clothes and have facials. They look great, and women love them. They even have a term named after them: 'Metrosexuals'.

Feeling socially sanctioned..and after the feedback I received from my female friend...I decided its time for me to shape up: I too, will become a metrosexual...not a metrosexual per se...but just keep up my own presenation, and become that young presentable man I once was.
So there it was...I started to gym it again...and started 'shopping'...actually she raided a few men stores..and came back loaded with clothes just for me..awww...but she demanded the money back...damn. (but now she's shopping for her boyfriend, and this lost brutha has been neglected, without this fashion coach, will I turn back to the way I was before...only time can tell).

I skilfully turned off Pacific Highway, and peeked into Lavender street....

It was still a clear and quiet street at 8 in the morning; what better to do, than to test out the limits of the 'new hotness' (the 'new' 3 yr old hotness, the 'new' 3 yr old hotness..which belongs to my mum...(hold the applause please)) - I floored the metal with my pedal, and with ease I cleared the first set of traffic lights in spectacular timing...after my small victory dance...I heard the siren and the blue/red lights flash behind me.

shit...

Officer: "License please"
Me: I hand over my license
Officer: "Sir, you do realise this is a 60 zone right? we clocked you going at over 90km/hr. Give me one reason why I shouldn't charge you for wreckless driving....
Me: "Officer, honestly, I was just trying to be a good citizen...I saw a punk driving recklessly at a very dangerous speed, so I sped up, hoping I could convince him to slow down".
Officer: "...well, I'm sorry he got away....where are you going so fast anyway?...
Me: "work"
Officer: "and where did you come from..."
Me: "home"
Officer: "Did you have anything to drink beforehand?"
Me: "a cup of coffee..."
Officer: "Nah, I mean alcohol"
Me: "At 8 in the morning?"
Officer: "Tryin' to be cocky?"
Me: "No officer...just stating the facts"
Officer: "You know, I could charge you right now, and give you a ticket and have your license suspended...."
Me: "Are you for real?, you being serious"
Officer: "For real" (trying to imitate my blackness)
Me: "wow, its just that...its a 'new' car and everything, never mind...you wouldn't understand (trying to pull the sympathy marks)...
Officer: "Actually, I know what you mean, when I was your age...I liked to do a bit of racing myself.......(monologuing for 5 mins)...
Me: Responding every few secs, with "Yea?", 'Absolutely', 'tell me about it', 'bet you got a lot of chicks with that sorta mileage'
*5 Mins later*
Officer: "I won't write you a ticket this time, but you can't be driving that fast from now on, you're free to go now, Sir"
Me: Thank you Officer, you keep fighting the good fight man!

Now, in such situations, I know for a fact that girls get let off the hook much easier. Especially Asian girls, (you know the whole asian fever business)....they flirt for a bit, claim they 'didn't know what they were doing', throw in the 'giggle'....and wollah! Mr police officer would be all smiles! - they don't even need to undo any buttons on their shirt !! that's disgraceful! (it would be mandatory if I was the police officer!)

5:37pm...Starbucks Coffee (2nd home):

I woke up after Carol tapped me (threw a folder) on my head, it was undoudbtedly the most peaceful 10min snooze I've had in the past 2 weeks. She handed me my coffee and said "Its time to go to work..." - she's voluntarily taken the role as 'mother' to me, but don't think a 22 yr old 'mother' is great (she might be a 'milf' and all) but it comes complete with the nagging, criticisms, and lectures.....

6:15pm...Work:

Had a meeting with 'The Man' (he also goes by other names, such as 'Chief', 'Boss' and 'Tosser') the usual team was there aswell, Poet, Mark and Jess. We've been assigned a new project (first one in 3 weeks, about time we got some work...work = paid = money...happy faces all around). That's the shit thing about being 'creative designers' in the industry, its paid per job: no project, no pay check. (Need another job...look for another job...)

A 'wtf' moment in a thus far very boring night: Jess was organising the admin stuff, the 'paperwork'.... when all of a sudden 'Poet' (his name is actually POET...his parents are beatniks (damn beatniks!)) in all 'Winston Churchill' glory sonifies:

"An artist should create beautiful things,
but should put nothing of his own life in them.We live in an age when men treat art as if it were meant to be a form of autobiography."

- no idea where that came from, and honestly I don't care...I bet he's taking drugs, I know he is..at least tell me he's smoking something....

Right Now.....Work:

Its probably been about 2 hours.....we're suppousedly brainstorming....(I'm actually doing work...cos I'm a model worker)
Jess is in her ''thinking' pose.....I think she's just chatting, but she's 'thinking'...not much action, just 'thinking'

Gawd I'm getting bored just typing this, the post is boring (if u made it this far, I apologise for posting such a boring entry)......you see how you can't expand a boring and 'eventless' situation into a 6 part epic !!!! Perhaps work is comparable to a 'Wong Kar Wai' movie....or a Mainland China Movie (if u didn't fall asleep in 'Raise the Red lantern'...I applaud u...)

Saying Hi from the Sushi Bar

I was urged by a fellow blogger - one of the many on the internet...to start a blog. (she actually begged and grovelled, and offered to perform sinful acts unto me (positions that are banned in Queensland)....if I did not make one).

Clearly, being a gentleman and all, I did not batter an eye at such an advance...(my 'other side' - the 'non mr darcy persona' begs to differ). But, being serious for a second, I've always had the urge to create a 'page' for me to ramble on, and the thought of an online blog (although ridicuously teenage girly like) had always lingered at the back of my mind. (wow...maybe 20+ yr old guys, do think like teenage girls...do u second that anna?)

But, I have always said I don't have the time nor do I have the patience to maintain a blog....I don't get how ppl can blog everyday, and also expand one little event that happened in their lives, into a 6 part epic adventure....

I will without a doubt, eat my words....

We shall see, we shall see.......